Scary Tales Of The Estranged Nose Hair
Something horrible happened this morning.
No, it was not that fact that I went out to get in my car and saw the driver of the short bus parked in my apartment driveway smoking a cigarette. First of all, that made me feel like I lived in the ghetto if people are parking in my driveway for a smoke break. Come on. Is there that many children in Anchorage that ride the short bus that you have to stop on your way to pick them up to have a smoke? And, if that is the case, should there be a bigger bus? That way we wouldn't call it "the short bus", I'm sure some asshole would find a much meaner name for it.
I stop by PerkUp to get my usual 16 ounce americano with an inch of cream and half a shot of vanilla (I always say my order incase some nice blog reader of mine wants to bring me a coffee during my grueling day of work) and my jalapeno cheese bagel. The "other girl" was there and I just looked at her with my one-eyebrow-look and ask Tara to make my coffee. Amazingly enough, my coffee stop went smooth and I was out of there fast and there was even a nice lady who let me out on to Dowling. It's gonna be a good day Tater.
I'm driving down my favorite road, the one where Potter turns into Dowling, I love it because of all the turns and no stop lights and I pretty much haul ass and feel like I'm king of the road. I come up to the Old Seward stop light and glance in the mirror. Ewww, there's a little boogey visible in my nose. Upon further inspection IT IS NOT A BOOGEY AT ALL!!! It is a black hair!!! GROSS!!! I have seriously pondered if God meant to make me a boy several times. I can deal with being vulgar and rude. I can deal with having my few close chick friends. I can even deal with the fact that I have to wax the ol' 'stache every now and then. What I cannot deal with, is the fact I have to buy a nose trimmer. I have seen the nose trimmers. They don't sell pretty pink girly ones. There huge manly black ones. I will have to buy it through the U-Scan instead of the regular check out so I don't have to lie and say "Oh it's for my non-existant boyfriend/husband!" While they're looking out my nose hairs and thinking "Yeah right, Wooly Mammoth."
I blame it all on the time my boss was out of town and Dean and I found Dave's nose trimmers in his office. We decided to trim our nose hairs because Dean said it felt really weird. So we cleaned out his trimmers in my bathroom and proceeded to trim our nose hairs. It was fun and it made me sneeze. So that one time, two and a half years ago, when I trimmed my nose I did not realize that they would grow back three fold! I am officially a "She-Man". Miranda will be proud.
Something horrible happened this morning.
No, it was not that fact that I went out to get in my car and saw the driver of the short bus parked in my apartment driveway smoking a cigarette. First of all, that made me feel like I lived in the ghetto if people are parking in my driveway for a smoke break. Come on. Is there that many children in Anchorage that ride the short bus that you have to stop on your way to pick them up to have a smoke? And, if that is the case, should there be a bigger bus? That way we wouldn't call it "the short bus", I'm sure some asshole would find a much meaner name for it.
I stop by PerkUp to get my usual 16 ounce americano with an inch of cream and half a shot of vanilla (I always say my order incase some nice blog reader of mine wants to bring me a coffee during my grueling day of work) and my jalapeno cheese bagel. The "other girl" was there and I just looked at her with my one-eyebrow-look and ask Tara to make my coffee. Amazingly enough, my coffee stop went smooth and I was out of there fast and there was even a nice lady who let me out on to Dowling. It's gonna be a good day Tater.
I'm driving down my favorite road, the one where Potter turns into Dowling, I love it because of all the turns and no stop lights and I pretty much haul ass and feel like I'm king of the road. I come up to the Old Seward stop light and glance in the mirror. Ewww, there's a little boogey visible in my nose. Upon further inspection IT IS NOT A BOOGEY AT ALL!!! It is a black hair!!! GROSS!!! I have seriously pondered if God meant to make me a boy several times. I can deal with being vulgar and rude. I can deal with having my few close chick friends. I can even deal with the fact that I have to wax the ol' 'stache every now and then. What I cannot deal with, is the fact I have to buy a nose trimmer. I have seen the nose trimmers. They don't sell pretty pink girly ones. There huge manly black ones. I will have to buy it through the U-Scan instead of the regular check out so I don't have to lie and say "Oh it's for my non-existant boyfriend/husband!" While they're looking out my nose hairs and thinking "Yeah right, Wooly Mammoth."
I blame it all on the time my boss was out of town and Dean and I found Dave's nose trimmers in his office. We decided to trim our nose hairs because Dean said it felt really weird. So we cleaned out his trimmers in my bathroom and proceeded to trim our nose hairs. It was fun and it made me sneeze. So that one time, two and a half years ago, when I trimmed my nose I did not realize that they would grow back three fold! I am officially a "She-Man". Miranda will be proud.
posted by Tater at 9:51 AM
3 Comments:
Interesting site. Useful information. Bookmarked.
»
Nice! Where you get this guestbook? I want the same script.. Awesome content. thankyou.
»
Super color scheme, I like it! Good job. Go on.
»
Post a Comment
<< Home