A Tribute To Airborne April 24, 2006

I have decided that there are too many people running around this city with different strains of the fucking cold. That, or I'm just kissing too many of them. I woke up in the middle of the night not only to my new pet cat sleeping on my face, but to that yucky feeling in your lungs. I get to work and say to myself "I'm gonna beat this bitch!" I have too much shit going on during the week to be sick: Champagne Tuesday, Bowling Wednesday, Thirsty Thursday. Plus going to the gym every day. So here I am, eating Cold-Eeeze "Clinically proven to reduce the duration of the common cold" and putting Airborne "Zesty Orange Flavor" in my water. Well it tastes more like "Zesty Cold Day Old Beer With A Cigarette Butt Thrown In That You Did Not See". Assholes. Obviously the makers of Airborne have never used their own formula because it tastes like crap and you're told to take this four times a day! Does anyone have a beer bong so I can Airborne bong this up my ass? If it works for Fairbanks kids getting drunk when they beer bong up their ass, then it has to work with any other liquid. Am I wrong?