A Tribute Toilet Plungers March 19, 2006

There comes a day in every single gal's life that someone takes a huge fucking shit in your toilet and it is then that you realize you don't have a plunger. That day came for me on Friday, March 17, 2006. It wasn't enough that I was home sick on the official Irish boozing day of the year while all you jack fucks were all getting loaded off of green beer, I was able to be blessed with the "Why the fuck don't you have a plunger, Aunt Tara?" day from hell. Being the trooper that I am, I rolled over and said take my fucking wallet, take my fucking car keys and go buy a plunger. Honestly, why ask the reason for me not having a plunger. Maybe because I don't foresee myself taking a shit big enough to clog the toilet. I don't think I have ever taken a shit that big. My 15 year old niece had the honors of doing that, my god what did she eat?! I know I have owned a plunger in the past. I recall a vague similar incident when I lived in my condo over in Independance Park. Someone else took a shit the size of a small dog in my toilet and I, once again, had to go to dear ol' Walmart and buy a plunger. What I want to know is why I have to buy a new plunger every time I move into a new place? Does anyone else have this problem? It's kind of like the "missing sock" whenever you do laundry. I seriously have like six socks without the pair that I HOLD ON TO. Like I'm going to magically some day find the other sock. Maybe when it comes to plungers, I just don't want to pack them. The thought of packing something that's sole purpose is to suck the poopies out of the deep dark scary toilet is enough to make me say "Fuck this, I'll buy a new plunger next time someone decides to shit pack my toilet to overflowing."