Sunday, April 12, 2009

I wish I could write beautifully like my sister, Katie. Although I think my sister, Katie, has it all. She is the one person I look up to and vow to be like one day. She is the mother and wife that I hope I will be. I always knew Katie would be a great mother because she was such a good mother to me. When my parents were divorced twenty years ago Katie took on the job of raising John, Gregory, and me while our mom was in California. I haven't always been the greatest sister to Katie and for those times I feel completely ashamed. But even through those times Katie has been there to give me advice and love. Katie is the reason that I have found faith in belief in our Lord. During my darkest times I knew I could call Katie and tell her whatever I have done that I am hurting over and she would lift my spirits up and make me believe that I am and can be a better person. Katie is the closest sister I have in age to me although I feel like I am years younger. There are times in my life where I was angry because I wasn't skinny, smart, and beautiful like my sister, Katie was. We used to joke around when we were younger, quoting the movie "A League of Their Own." There was a father in the movie who said "This is my daughter 'Dottie,' and this is my other daughter 'Dottie's Sister." I would always tell Katie that's how it was with her and me. No matter how angry or resentful I felt growing up, I never stopped loving my sister. I have always and will always be the shorter, not as smart, chubby, funny girl with a great smile. That's not a hard thing in life to bear. What's great about me though, is I have a sister named Katie. Not a lot of people can say that. There have been rough times in my recent life. Times that involved alcoholism and loss. I almost lost the love of my life, Daniel, but Katie was there to make me believe that it would be okay on my own because, in fact, I was never alone, I had Jesus. Katie never challenged my judgment when Daniel and I got back together. The only question that was ever asked was, "Are you happy?" My sister has three beautiful girls; Sophia, age four, Jolie, age one and a half, and Tess, just born this past week. I pray to God that I am a good Aunt to these girls. I pray to God that Katie knows I would never put these girls in the face of danger. Although she has every right to worry. I pray that she knows I wouldn't do anything to hurt her girls. I remember being younger and hanging out with my sister. One night while visiting our mom in Anchorage we watched "Meet Me In St. Louie" and learned the dance Judie Garland did with her younger sister, Tootie. We promised each other that at our next school talent show that we would preform it. When I think of it now it was one of the happiest times of our life. Practicing an old dance between bowls of Tin Roof Sundae. We also did the same thing with the movie, "The War." I remember the first time we saw that movie Katie was crying so hard and I didn't quite understand. It was a sad movie and all but Katie was really upset. I remember it scaring me, I didn't want my older sister upset like that knowing there was nothing I could do.

1 Comments:

Blogger Belle Etoile said...

Oh my goodness, Tara. You see me much differently than I see myself. I'm so proud that you look up to me, and I'm glad you recognize that you have gifts of your own. I often regret not showing you more affection when we were kids. You needed it so much. I totally forgot about the St. Louis dance. That was so much fun! Maybe we can perform it at a family talent show one day. And while we're at it, the War one as well. :) We can't wait for you to get here to POW Island. We are praying for good weather! Love you.

10:40 PM  

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